Editor's Note: Technobabble is our occasional series looking at the more colorful sides of technology, including research-based musings that illustrate the CIO Dive Editorial Teams case for the future HQ2 location. Please enjoy this Thanksgiving themed edition.
It's the season to give thanks and count the blessings in your life.
Recent headlines make it easy to dwell on cybersecurity failures, but the technology industry gave us so much to be thankful for this year. From hooking a brain up to a computer to flying car contracts to unlocking phones with our faces, technology constantly pushes the bounds of what is believed to be possible.
No one knows how to give thanks like Jimmy Fallon, and CIO Dive is taking a leaf out of his book and writing thank you notes to the business technology sphere:
1. Thank you, Sheryl Sandberg, Ginni Rometty, Meg Whitman, Safra Catz, and Ruth Porat.
Thank you for breaking into the top 10 of Fortune's Most Powerful Women list and helping chip away at the technology's glass ceiling.
2. Thank you, tech salaries.
Thank you for continuing to lead other sectors in worker compensation and reminding the rest of us that we could be making half a million dollars as an AI specialist if only we had picked a different major in college.
3. Thank you, blockchain.
4. Thank you, Elon.
Thank you for giving us our daily dose of robot skepticism in preparation for the coming AI apocalypse. And, of course, for taking us to Mars, furthering non-profit AI research and letting us halfheartedly chuckle at your Boring Company one too many times.
On the list of people who should absolutely *not* be allowed to develop digital superintelligence...https://t.co/reNZ50FGNC— Elon Musk (@elonmusk) October 24, 2017
5. Thank you, latest iOS updates.
Thank you for not only fixing the infuriating 'i' bug but also gifting us with the long overdue broccoli emoji. After all, "the first wealth is health."
6. Thank you, quantum computing.
7. Thank you, Rep. Will Hurd, R-TX.
Thank you for serving as the unsung hero of federal IT. You're not afraid to call out government technology shortcomings. And your intelligence industry knowledge makes you an ideal candidate to help drive the next force in tech, Y2Q — years to quantum.
8. Thank you, Vanity Sec.
Thank you for providing the security community sage fashion advice. Maybe one day hackers will move on from hoodies to smoking jackets.
9. Thank you, millennials.
Without your addiction to cell phones and unrelenting need for social acceptance, communication platforms may not have found their way into the enterprise. Being social successfully translated to both intercompany and intracompany collaboration.
10. Thank you, Amazon Web Services.
Thank you for keeping S3 online through thick and thin (except for that brief hiccup in February). Because, honestly, without S3 the internet is toast.
11. Thank you, Bill Gates.
Thank you for your philanthropic efforts including donating $4.6 billion worth of Microsoft shares to charity. Also, your genuine friendship with Warren Buffet makes you an inspiration to BFFs everywhere.
12. Thank you, $2,000 per month, or cheap rent in Silicon Valley.
Although I'm not sure the free restaurants on tech campuses' make up for that … who am I kidding? Of course they do.
13. Thank you, Windows 10.
Thank you for not falling prey to WannaCry when older versions of the OS could not withstand the malware attack. Even when your rapid update cycle proves trying, for security’s sake we appreciate updates that don’t rely on user execution.
14. Thank you, Jeff Bezos.
Thank you for giving us the gift of memes.
Happy to see Jeff Bezos has taken his rightful place among America's favorite bald daddies pic.twitter.com/kVx6moYCH0— Avery Hartmans (@averyhartmans) July 14, 2017
15. Thank you, Yahoo.
Thank you for reminding two billion more users to update their passwords. And maybe not reuse account credentials across the internet.
16. Thank you, cloud service providers.
Thank you for making cloud billing work for us. Who needs per minute billing when you could charge per second?
17. Thank you most of all, dear CIO Dive readers.
Thank you for opening up your emails to us, never hesitating to reach out and start a dialogue and putting up with our puns each morning.